


Love is a Shelter

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4736318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke and Lexa are unpacking their new, shared apartment when Lexa comes across something that triggers some painful memories. Luckily, she's got Clarke there with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is a Shelter

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "That's What's Up" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

“Clarke? Babe, are you awake?” Lexa calls out towards their bedroom. No reply, so Lexa shuts off the stove, plates up the breakfast she cooked, and the heads back to their room.

She finds Clarke still passed out and snuggled amongst their white sheets. She kneels down next to the mattress that’s haphazardly placed on the floor in the middle of their room. The two of them had just moved in together yesterday and hadn’t had time to put together the bed.

Lexa reaches out and runs her fingers through Clarke’s hair. “Clarke, it’s time to get up. We’ve got a lot of work to do.” They have both taken off two days from work with that, plus the weekend, they should be able to get settled in comfortably before going back to work on Monday.

The only response is a subdued whine and Clarke’s head pushing at her hand for more contact.

"Come on, lazy. I made your favorite, oatmeal blueberry pancakes." Lexa entices her.

That gets Clarke to crack one eye open. "With maple syrup and bacon? And coffee?" She asks, her voice rusty.

"Yeah, maple syrup, bacon, and coffee. I went to the store while you were still asleep." Lexa smiles softly at her. She adores sleepy, morning Clarke.

Clarke's lips curl into a smile as she rolls onto her back. "You're the best."

Lexa starts to get up, but Clarke flails her arm at her weakly. "Come give me a kiss."

Lexa obligingly leans down and kisses Clarke gently. "I love you. I'm so excited to be living with you officially." Lexa whispers when she pulls back, nudging her nose into Clarke’s.

"Me too, Lex." Clarke says before kissing her again.  "I'll be out in a minute."

Lexa returns to the kitchen and fixes Clarke's coffee, a little cream and two sugars, before pouring herself some orange juice. They don't have a table yet so she sets their plates on the counter and rummages through the piles of their belongings to find the two bar stools they have.

Clarke comes out a minute later looking much more perky. She practically bounces over to Lexa, catching her in a vigorous kiss before settling down next to her.

Since Lexa is right handed and Clarke is left handed they've developed the habit of sitting so that their free hands are next to each other. So as usual Lexa reaches out and tangles the fingers of her left hand with the fingers of Clarke's right hand on the counter. Their friends have definitely commented on how disgusting they are.

Clarke digs in and they start discussing unpacking plans for the day. Lexa is charged with unpacking their bedroom stuff and assembling furniture while Clarke will work on their combined office and studio.

* * *

Hours later Clarke pokes her head into their bedroom. "Hey, I just realized it's almost two and I'm starving. I was thinking I could run to that deli across the street and get sandwiches. What do you want, Lex?"

There's no response. Lexa has her back to Clarke, hunched over a box. She had successfully set up all the furniture for the bedroom and had moved on to unpacking their belongings.

"Lexa? Are you hungry?" Clarke asks again.

Lexa's response this time is to tense her shoulders and hunch further over the box. She's holding something in her hands.

Tentatively Clarke steps into the room.  She approaches Lexa and drops to the ground behind her. Then Clarke scoots up against Lexa's back, her legs on either side of Lexa's, her cheek against Lexa's back, her arms wrapped loosely around Lexa's waist. "Is something wrong, baby?"

Lexa heaves a shuddering sigh. Then somehow Lexa coils further in on herself, tense against Clarke's chest.

"Hey, it's okay. Are you just stressed by the move?" Clarke soothes, running her hands down Lexa's arms.

Lexa jerkily shakes her head and then, to Clarke's shock, she chokes out a sob. That has Clarke yanking her head up, concerned. In the nearly two years they've known each other, Clarke can't remember Lexa crying once.

"Hey, hey, hey. Tell me what's wrong, Love." Clarke pleads. She leans in to deliver a kiss to the back of Lexa's neck.

Lexa sucks in a deep breath and spins around in Clarke's arms. Before Clarke can understand what's happening, Lexa is shoving a picture frame into her hands.

First Clarke surveys Lexa, noting her glossy eyes , steady frown, and clenched jaw. Then Clarke drops her eyes to the picture in her hand.

A beautiful woman with dark skin, dreadlocked hair, deep eyes, and a powerful smile looks out at her. Clarke can feel her energy and vibrancy radiating out from the picture. Costia.

Armed with this new understanding, Clarke looks back up a Lexa. She appears apprehensive in a way Clarke's never seen before. Instead of speaking, Clarke tilts forward and rests her forehead against Lexa's.

Lexa sucks in a heavy breath before attempting to speak. “I was just -” Her voice cracks so she draws in another breath and tries again. “I was remembering us moving in together. It was just a few months before she. . . Before she died.” Lexa finishes shakily.

Clarke isn’t sure what to say so she reaches out to turn Lexa around, so that her back is against Clarke’s chest again, and hugs her tightly, chin resting on Lexa’s shoulder.

They remain in that position for a few minutes before Lexa speaks, her voice steadier now. “It was right before our junior year of college. We got a little apartment just off campus. It was a dump really, stains on the carpet and holes in the walls, hardly bigger than a closet, but she was so excited she practically ran circles around me.”

There’s another long pause, Clarke squeezing Lexa even tighter and brushing kisses across Lexa’s shoulder.

Lexa continues in a soft, anguished voice. “That first night we didn’t even have a mattress. We laid together on the floor with a few blankets. It was a mess, but in that moment I thought I could never be in need of anything else as long as I had her. I thought I could never be as happy as I was in that moment, with her in my arms in our dingy little apartment.”

Tears well in Clarke’s eyes, her heart aching for Costia’s prematurely ended life and Lexa’s heartbreaking loss.

Lexa’s body is still held rigidly in Clarke’s arms and she barely manages to force out her next words. “When she died, I thought I could never be happy again.” A deep shuddering breath, “I thought I could never love again.”

Clarke is holding Lexa so tightly now that it borders on painful. Lexa takes several jagged breaths. “But I fell in love with you, Clarke. I fell in love with you and I’m so happy.”

That’s all Lexa manages to get out before she’s sinking back into Clarke’s arms, shaking with restrained sobs. Clarke holds her tighter, breathing words of comfort and love into Lexa’s ear. There are tears dripping down her own cheeks.

When her breathing evens out, Lexa chokes, “I miss her. I miss Costia.” It’s the first time Lexa has been able to say her name. There’s an undercurrent of guilt to the sentiment though.

Catching that tone, Clarke is quick to reassure her. “That’s okay, baby. You’re allowed to miss her. Missing her doesn’t mean you don't love me or that you love me less, Lexa. Just like loving me doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten her or didn’t love her.”

Its several more minutes until Lexa pulls herself up and turns to face Clarke. Her eyes are red and there are tears streaking her cheeks. Tentatively she meets Clarke’s eye and asks, “Would it be okay if I put some pictures of her, of us, up in our apartment?”

“Of course it’s okay, Lex. Babe, you loved her. She loved you. She was an important part of your life and the two of you were engaged, together for years. You don't need to hide that. You shouldn't hide that.” She gently cups Lexa’s face and brushes away her tears.

Lexa catches Clarke in an intense hug that knocks her over. "I love you. I love you so much. You're amazing, Clarke Griffin." She whispers fiercely.

“I love you, too, Lex.” Clarke replies, matching her passion. “I need you to know, love. I need you to know that you make me so happy. This past year and a half has been so amazing with you and I’m incredibly excited for our future.”

Lexa lifts herself up over Clarke, staring deeply into her eyes. The intensity of her gaze communicates the depth of her passion and her love. Slowly, she lowers herself down to Clarke and captures her lips in a deep kiss. Clarke runs her hands up Lexa’s back to tangle in her hair, sighing into the kiss.

When they break apart, Lexa shifts to lie half on top of Clarke with her head tucked into her neck. “I think she would really like you and she would be happy that I found you.” Lexa murmurs.

“I hope so, Lex. I know I love her because she was so good to you, and she loved you, and took care of you.” Clare responds.

They snuggle like that on the floor, until they fall asleep, drained by the emotional conversation. Small smiles paint the corners of both of their mouths though because they feel safe and content and happy in their shared love.

 

 


End file.
